‘We are not lonely’: Solitude as a new aspirational lifestyle

After switching several high schools, enduring Covid isolation during her college years and moving across the country following her first heartbreak, Isa found herself forced to adjust to living alone with no close friends.

“People don’t talk about having no friends a lot… I think it’s still what people would consider embarrassing or a little taboo,” she says.

When she started sharing the friendlessness of her circumstances on social media, an audience began to connect. Her initial following of around 2,000 followers on TikTok swelled to more than 175,000 in the span of eight months.

“It was eye-opening to see other people who are living the same situation that I’ve been… and to feel like I could kind of relate to people for the first time in a while.”

And relate they did. Isa’s comments section filled with people bonding over similar experiences of living alone or having no friends, and finding comfort in “feeling seen”.

As with most trends online, curiosity quickly turned to backlash. Isa and similar creators were dubbed “loneliness influencers”, with some framing them as part of a new demographic of sad, lonely, childless women in crisis.

Others accused them of romanticising self isolation and encouraging an “air of cosy defeatism” by shunning social connections.

But their reels paint a lifestyle that may be more relatable than many would care to admit. These women take themselves on solo dates, embark on spontaneous road trips, and even push through the awkwardness of attending parties alone.