Finding Your Own Truth As a Father and Financial Advisor
When my friend and fellow advisor Derek Notman told me he wanted to start REBL Dads, a community for “Responsible Entrepreneur Balanced Leader” fathers, I jumped in with both feet. He was naming something many of us feel but rarely articulate: we want to lead well both at work and at home, and many days that can feel challenging if not impossible. As we dug into what we were feeling, we recognized that we weren’t alone in those sentiments and wanted to build a community of peers in similar situations.
In exploring this further, Derek and I delved into the broader story of fatherhood today. One in four American children lacks a father figure at home for various reasons. That gap in a consistent male presence is correlated with higher rates of drug use, violence, depression and other challenges that can stay with young people well into adulthood. While being physically there is something, being emotionally present and engaged is of the utmost importance. Not only does this bear out in the statistics but it’s also worn on the faces of American children who will lead our planet.
For those of us men who are also financial advisors, the weight of this role is multiplied. We may be fathers in our homes, but we also serve a parental role in many of our client relationships. We are often the ones who listen most carefully as people confess their fears about money, their mistakes, their regrets and their hopes for their families. We hear the unedited version of their financial stories, and we’re asked to help mentor them write a better next chapter. To do that well, it’s about more than just technical knowledge; it takes empathy, an educator’s patience, and being truly present with those clients in their financial lives.
Think about what a great advisor actually does: consistently listening to clients’ concerns, absorbing their complexities and emotions around finance, then having thoughtful, informed conversations about the best path forward. That sounds a lot like what a great father does. They don’t just dispense advice; they create a safe space, reflect back what they hear, and help those they love make decisions that align with who they are and where they want to go. The advisor who can do this becomes a stabilizing presence through market turmoil, life transitions and family crises. They see their clients in ways others cannot or do not.
Out of these conversations, Derek and I compiled a book, REBL Dad (Responsible Entrepreneur Balanced Leader): What 100+ Fathers Reveal About Successful Leadership at Home and Work. Our goal was not to present a set of rules or a “perfect dad” template. Instead, we wanted to gather honest lessons from real fathers so readers could recognize pieces of themselves in these stories. The point is not to copy what someone else has done but to discover your own version of the truth — to be challenged, encouraged and inspired to do a little better each day. When we share stories, we chip away at isolation and remind each other we’re all figuring this out in real time.
This Father’s Day, I’d invite you to pause and ask three simple questions: What kind of father do I want to be for my kids? What intentions would that father have? Do your own mindsets and actions support those intentions? The answers might be uncomfortable, but they’re a starting point for intentional outcomes.
The good news is that, as advisors, we’re blessed with tools that can help us become more human in both our professional lives. Technology and AI give us the ability to be more human and present with our clients by automating away the mundane and tedious. Whether you can similarly use tech or AI to achieve that presence at home, or whether you have to go about it the “old-fashioned” way and lock your phone in a drawer, I leave it up to you.
This Father’s Day, don’t just buy the card and fire up the grill. And definitely don’t lock yourself in the man cave for the day. Talk to other dads you respect. Talk to your kids. Talk to mature clients who are also dads and grandads. Share the wins and the failures. Commit to one concrete step that moves you closer to your own intentions as a father and financial advocate. You don’t have to get it perfect; you just have to be willing to take tiny steps and be present, listen deeply and course‑correct as you go.